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Home Sick

There is a remembrance within all of us. Sometimes it is buried deep within, and other times it rests more to the surface. To remember who you are takes a lot of courage, like diving in the depths of the cold, dark, dense ocean, rummaging along the dark bottom. There you try to feel your way around for any kind of treasure, friendly life form, or some glimmer of hope for finding something there after your long journey downward. Some of us may find a treasure there. Some of us come back up empty handed, only feeling more aware of the light at the surface and grateful for the next deep breath of air.

The remembrance keeps us yearning. It keeps us searching, like we are on a life treasure hunt. Smells will ignite a feeling of remembering like a clue. The sound of music can bring a feeling of melancholy like no other. There are so many triggers for this feeling of home. We are all home sick to some degree and like frazzled, frightened children, we long for the memories of being held in loving arms and kissed with gentleness as we are reminded that all is well. That there is nothing we need to do, and we are granted permission to be. Where we can be reminded that we have done nothing wrong, and can now feel pardoned of our shame, guilt, and seeking of punishment. Where we can feel, for once, that we are enough.

The bus-i-ness of our world is so consuming. Our culture is based so much on production that there is an enormous pressure to do more and to be more. This is the dialogue of the ‘not enough’ syndrome. Where in this world, you are not enough to just be who you are. You must prove it. You must earn it. You must compete for it. Even if, for a moment, you feel you have it, that you did it, you earned your keep, there follows a never ending fear of losing it. That it may be taken from you. That you may not be able to keep up the pace, and may fall behind. The destination is one of ‘keeping up’ and racing the race.

This is a course of exhaustion and also what keeps us with a Starbucks on every corner. The baristas hold the ‘almost there’ and ‘you can do it’ signs of our marathons we run every day. Hardly the feeling of love or comfort we are actually yearning for.

In taking a deep breath and becoming silent, the pathways can change. If you can muster up the courage already within to listen to your heart and silence this crazy world... That is the path that will lead us home.

As we say, after all,

Home is Where the Heart is.

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