I run a lot. I love the peace and the clarity I get after running. It's like all of my problems get sorted out in my head, I feel peaceful, I feel bouncy, I feel the runners high. Sometimes I get sore, but in a good way and I love the endorphins from running. I think they are the best around. Some experts say it is an instant cure for depression and I believe it.
I like running when I schedule a running session, in my running clothes, with my running shoes, with my water bottle and my i-pod blaring, out in nature. It is my time.
I don't like running when it's everyday life. I am not equipped. I don't have nice, work place appropriate running shoes, I can't wear a sports bra all day, my i-pod just cannot sustain that long of a battery life. Neither can I. There is not enough coffee in the world for me to run all day everyday.
I am addicted to lattes. Despite their delicious taste and their milky, warm soothing-ness, I know that they are not good for my body. I know they don't really make me feel good over a long day. I know that I eventually get a crash, it's too much sugar, and I am on the fence with our human ability to really break down cow's milk. Cow's milk that baby cows don't get from their cow mommies because we take it. Cow's milk that is built to make a small baby cow into a huge, beastly sized mammal, I just don't know if that's where our bodies want to be headed.
Despite this, I have a latte nearly everyday.
Because I get tired. Let me correct that, it started out with "I get tired" and I needed a pick me up. I need a pick me up to get me through a long day at work and then a long night taking care of my family and my home. Then eventually the "I get tired" transformed into pure and utter exhaustion. And I often find myself bouncing between the two. The demands of life keep demanding and demanding and never letting up, so I need more energy than I can acquire on my own. My body's energy storage tank is constantly on E.
So I need something to fill it up, to keep me going. This is where coffee has become the answer.
The deeper problem.
This exhaustion seems to be relaying a message. A message that I know I am not alone in. Women across the world are feeling this kind of exhaustion. There is actually a term for it now, Rushing Woman Syndrome. There is a book, written by Dr. Libby Weaver, I highly recommend it to all that can relate to this feeling. You are not a lone. We all feel it. The pressures. The demands. The over impacted schedule. The over impacted children's schedules. The bigger houses, the nicer cars, more clothes, better bodies, more work, more money, better retirement, better meals, on and on and on.
It is a form of INSANITY.
There is nothing peaceful or clarifying about this kind of running. This kind of running is the kind that will run you into the ground. A place no one wants to be. The result is more impactful than 'I feel kind of sore'.
Your body goes into fight or flight mode and it stays there with this kind of demanding life. This is what leads to adrenal exhaustion and high coritsol levels, which is a big problem in our culture today, particularly for women. Women are juggling demands of being empowered by working outside the home but also facing the same responsibilities at home. Both of which are full time jobs.
Part of the need here is to re-assess. The need here is to give yourself permission. What do you need a permission slip for?
Taking a nap?
Taking a day for yourself?
Receiving a massage?
Take care of yourself first. It is like the airline stewardess states, please put your oxygen mask on first before assisting other passengers. For you cannot really help anyone when you are passed out in the aisle.
I give you permission.
Put on your own oxygen mask. Put down the latte. If you're tired, be tired. If you feel like you can't do anything more, don't.
You are a human being, not a human doing. So just allow yourself to be.